Oh, Valentine’s Day. And yes, I told myself that I still have to drop a few lines on it even if love in the sense of “partnership love” is not my area of expertise, at least not yet.
There are many different stories circulating around about the origins of Valentine’s Day online. That would be the date when the birds chose to pair. A poet, back in the day, liked to relate this date to that of lovers, and then became renowned as Valentin de Terni, the saint of lovers, celebrated on February 14th.
And for all that we celebrate love on February 14, but not so much it in the broad sense, but rather in the sense of partnership. Personally, I celebrate Valentine’s Day with my Valentina and my Alessandro, maybe because I don’t have a partner, but more so because we love each other very much.
The feast of love obviously makes me think about the place that love has in my life. Love was not the easiest emotion for me to grasp. I know many people feel the same.
Without going into superfluous and too many intimate details, the love that is in parent-child relations, or even love for oneself, does not seem to be taken for granted in my family.
But don’t we choose our family for the experiences we get to live through together though? I believe in it and I believe that my family, which is really meaningful to me, but doesn’t have a master’s degree in love, was the one that life took me to in order to evolve towards a better version of me.
Love, in fact, is the quest of my life. Not in the sense that you will hear from many – to meet their soul mate and share a harmonious life in love, but rather in the sense of healing.
I’m talking about my capacity for unconditional love. To love me unconditionally, allowing me to love the others unconditionally, my partner, my children, my parents, but not only …
But I wonder, isn’t that the quest in life of many people? Aren’t we all deficient in love? Isn’t our love 99% conditional? Aren’t many of us choosing a partner for how we will feel rather than out of pure love for the being that he/she is?
I thought that when I find my soulmate, I would be in love, forever. Life has not gone that way for me. Life sent me very, very conditional love my way. And then instead of shipping over my dreamed soulmate, it sent me yoga, meditation and spirituality, and love took on a whole new dimension.
I understood, really understood, that love in my life was possible only if I was in love with myself first. I also understood that love is much more generous, much bigger and more complete, than the image I had of it – love as a couple, for family and friends.
And that’s where I am today, learning about love. I court myself, I cherish myself, I pamper myself, I am falling in love with myself. Believe in me, love my body, silence my little voice which doesn’t love it, welcome me exactly as I am today.
I learn to love, I learn to love everything around me, a flower, a landscape, animals, all animals. Besides, I don’t eat them anymore, I just can’t. Even insects, which I would have previously crushed with a shoe or sucked up with the vacuum cleaner, I gently place outside.
I strive to love my children unconditionally, as they are, without making projections, in the total acceptance of their individuality. Before, I didn’t do it, not always at least, but now I do.
I accept and love my parents with all their weaknesses, their shortcomings and am grateful of who they are and especially of what they have given me.
And again, I try to love everything around me, the people I meet and who give me a smile, the people who ignore me, and even the people who offend me. I am far from being there, but I progress every day on this pretty path of love.
And I would end this article with the words of Amma with whom I fully identify: “Love is the only medicine that can heal the wounds of the world”.
So, yes, Valentine’s Day is a commercial holiday, but if it gives us an excuse to be more in love for a day, then happy feast of love to you all.