I don’t really know why I write and publish my little articles for Facebook. And I don’t really know why you read them either. It all started with my launching my Zen for Monday and Yoga & Fun workshops.
As I am new to yoga at the Place de Genève, I needed a way to make myself known in order to promote my workshops and social networks that are now the means to reach out to you.
I asked for help from a social media manager who explained to me how it works. She told me that on FB, you have to write articles and that on Instagram, you have to post photos and videos.
And I do. I write a lot of articles on subjects that come to my mind. There are some on yoga, on Ayurveda and those are easy, concrete. But then there are a few more personal articles. I want to write them too, I like doing so.
Very soon, however, some discomfort appeared in the writing of those more personal articles. I am constantly on the move, as we all are. I did not get to a certain level of understanding life to feel “legitimate” in sharing my experiences.
Yes, my life has changed since I left the world of conventional work to launch myself into my passion and into the void without knowing where I was going to land (if I even ended up landing one day). I learned a lot about life, my own personal life, which was still unknown to me 18 months ago.
So, I started to share what I learned, and not only those things I achieved by studying the philosophy of yoga, but also my personal experiences that were simply resulting from what I got to learn from life.
But who am I to share the lessons that life teaches me and what is the point of sharing them on the internet? Big question, big discomfort, big blockage, a blank page.
At this point, I got stuck when it came to my writing, and instead I embarked on video production to develop Instagram. This was a second layer of discomfort. Why should I share my tiny thoughts for 1 minute on videos? In addition, I found myself looking rather ugly on there.
It was a total deadlock, I could no longer write or speak in front of the camera. And on top of that, it was not like my workshops were overflowing with people who wanted to learn from me. Do I really need to continue all this, I asked. Do I have a place in teaching yoga? Wouldn’t it be better if I dropped everything and went back to my previous corporate routine lifestyle?
Yes but no. It is absolutely impossible for me to even start contemplating on resuming to live life as it was. I just can’t imagine going back to the office and doing all these things that have become trivial to me. Believe me, at times I would like to, but I just don’t find it in me anymore.
The great void. What to do, what to be? So, I went back inside again. Usually, I do that every day when I meditate or when I do my yoga, or when I walk in nature. But between my moments for me, I was working. And there I was, being paralyzed. Fortunately, during the holidays I could afford some time off.
I then discovered other fascinating lessons on YouTube in particular. I found out about other movements of thought that weren’t a part of yoga. I saw new teachings about life that were opening up to me. Different ways of looking at life. A new field of new vision engulfed me.
I cannot yet find a moral to this story, because I still have not yet found the answer as to why I write these articles. This morning, I’m writing this article simply because last night, I came across a video of Sadhguru (and yes, a yogi) who was saying:
“When we synch up with life, it naturally wakes us up between 3:20 am and 3:40 am. This natural alarm clock is there for us to wake us up and have us do what we have to do, no matter what it is. For some it will be to meditate, for others – to practice a kryia, but overall to just do everything that we are asked to do. “
I wake up very often around 3:30 am with revelations about life, my life. I love this moment. And yes, I love waking up in the middle of the night with answers.
Very often when I find myself awake in the middle of the night, I feel the urge to write. To write about what appeared to me. More often that not, I would block my creative drive, because I have to sleep and promise myself I will write once the real time to wake up has arrived and finished my night.
Yesterday, I was watching this video and because for the past few weeks I have been wondering about my legitimacy in writing, I did not listen to my suppressive urges for the first time.
This night, I took this natural alarm clock waking me up as a sign, a call to write this article that resonates with the words of the Sadhguru. You wake up at 3:30 am to do what you have to do and since my call was for writing, here I am sitting in the kitchen at 4:00 am with gentle music on, a burning candle and my fingers on the keyboard.
So here is the best moral of the story I found. I still don’t know why I write, but I know I like to write. So I’m writing and I’ll keep going as long as I have things to say, as long as it sounds right to me, as long as you’re here to read what I composed, as long as I can take pleasure in it.
Now you’ll know that when you don’t hear from me, it’s because I’m inside, because I’m, like you, on the way, moving.
Thanks for your attention. I will go back to bed now with a sweet lingering emotion in my heart. Thank you, life.