I’ve been a yoga teacher for a while and ever since I started my journey, I have been wondering where all the men were. How is it that this practise is deserted by them in the West when it was originally created by their very own sex? I would like to put men on the hot seat with this very article!
All the personal development seminars, wellness conferences and yoga classes are mostly attended by women. According to my estimate, and based on years of observation, only 20% of the participants represent the male gender on average.
Are only women interested in working and developing themselves and have the will to evolve to their better beings? Or do men do it but in other ways that I do not understand as a woman?
I would like to venture and explore a little and share a hypothesis that is essentially based on my intuition with a twist of data acquired by my experience as a friend and coach of the opposite gender. This article is also an invitation to all men and women to share their opinions on the issue.
I will start with a rather basic concept, as I believe the phenomenon to be quite influential, although it may be just lying in the subconscious of many. Mothers raise their sons differently from their daughters. I say mothers because I would like to think that we have evolved a little bit more in recent decades, even if we are still far from equality.
We want a girl to be sweet, pretty, nice and sensitive towards emotions. We want a boy to be strong, intelligent, courageous and hardworking. Cliché much? Let’s be honest, therein lies some truth.
So, lets’ go back to this beautiful wellbeing offer that the world has up for us today. It’s about taking time for yourself, going inside, visiting the dark corners of your being, watching our own emotions and appreciating their value.
For girls it’s ok, as they must be sweet and sensitive. For boys, who must be strong and are not allowed to cry, the step towards personal introspection is much harder to make.
How do men then take care of their inner being, how do they manage their emotions, how and where can they recognize and take care of their fragility, their weaknesses?
First of all, I notice that the need to take care of oneself, both for women and men, is becoming more of a concerning matter in the second half of life. In the first one, we are all busy building an adult life, career, family, home and finding a matching spouse…
Then the great forties arrive and do so with a great emotional, existential and spiritual upheaval. As all our questions and self-inquiry begin, we launch our journey into self-development.
Some men, who have arrived at this stage, have allowed their female side to emerge and therefore engage with the search for their true self lightly and confidently. They walk towards themselves either by frequenting these personal development seminars, or by meditation, literature, philosophy, nature or some other things I likely don’t know of.
Other men, however, feel discomfort, a need to change, a desire to evolve but only very timidly, as they fail to perceive the signs and understand the alarming tips only superficially. It is too often that they turn towards the wrong direction, the outside, or just don’t move because they don’t know how to.
Unfortunately these men very often stifle their feelings by working more, doing more activities, getting more distractions, and sometimes by relying on alcohol. Until one day. The cap pops up, emotions emerge uncontrollably and they are no longer able to manage themselves alone.
It’s called burn-out or depression, and only therapy and a long and difficult reconstruction will be possible at this time.
Gentlemen, if you recognize yourself in the last paragraph, hear a little voice that speaks to you but in a foreign language, feel the pressure rise, then I invite you to take care of yourself before the cap pops up.
Dare to express your feminine side, express your emotions and reveal to the world who you really are and what you want to become.
If you only knew how sexy a man looks like who is whole, in both his strength and fragility, a man who shows and speaks about these emotions, a man who is true! The time of the cavemen is long gone!
Courage, boys, dare to be yourselves and join me on the yoga mats on Sunday morning at Zen for Monday to start the most beautiful journey you can ever have, the journey towards finding YOU!
PS: if you are too shy to pop up in the midst of fragile and sensitive women, I can also help you through individual coaching sessions!