I was not looking for a new life, a new life found me. Almost four years ago now I was tired, always running, having incessant cycles of how-to-be-happy thoughts and actions. Despite my best intentions trying to calm down by telling myself “Tomorrow will be better”, “Stop complaining”, “You have a good job, beautiful children, be grateful ». But it wasn’t good enough. So I decided to change everything.
Not much worked at that point of time – I was satisfied one day and on the following one I was restless and unfulfilled again. I was in a constant cycles of ups and downs that were bouncing up from my ever-changing thoughts and attempts to try and keep those little moments of happiness in there.
One day my employer assigned me a project that required me to spend a week in Panama followed by one in the US. I then said to myself that if I’m already going so far away, I should take the time to rest a little on a beautiful Caribbean beach. After all it’d been a long time since I properly took care of myself.
I googled “Holiday spots in the Caribbean” and I come across a list of the top 10 resorts in there. Number 5 spoke to me – a yoga-filled retreat on a paradise beach. They promised what sound as the perfect match to me, physical, mental and spiritual well-being. The description spoke to me a lot but my thoughts started spinning around me: “But I do not do yoga, it’s too boring of a practice for me”.
I booked it and this was the first step towards my new life.
It was a magical week for all my senses. The sight and touch of the turquoise sea, the taste and scents of the food, so very different, but so nurturing for my taste buds and body. My hearing was healed by the days spent in silence, contemplation, the wonderful music, and my heart was set on the philosophy of yoga.
Now, the yoga, let’s talk about it. It was all about the two 90-minute yoga classes a day, breathing exercises, postures, and total relaxation gifted to all of my being, my physical, mental and spiritual body. As the days went by, my body relaxed more and more and my mind give way and blossomed with a lightness and a depth that I had never felt before.
When we would wake up and go to bed, we would practice group meditation. Sitting on the floor, legs crossed, without moving a hair for 30 minutes was my biggest challenge. They tell you to breathe and calm your thoughts. Calm my thoughts?! But my head was bubbling full of them. “Focus on your breath, let the thoughts go away, do not attach to them” – it was not easy at first but then over time they subsided, calmed down, they were there but not as prevalent. I understood then that it will take time and a lot of practice to make them disappear completely.
You have to understand, I am trying to describe the indescribable with words where all must be experienced.
There I learned of letting go of my preconceived ideas, my intellect, my life, so I could travel slowly towards my true spiritual intelligence, the one at the bottom of my being, my true nature, my soul. In just 6 days my life had taken a decisive turn towards a new path.
This is the story of my first step towards a new life. I invite you to discover the rest in my article “From dream to reality” (link) which unveils my path as a personal development coach, yoga teacher and trainer in Ayurveda.
If my story speaks to you but you cannot afford to go to a yoga retreat for a week, why not start with Zen for Monday? My wellness workshops on Sunday morning are a sweet mix of philosophical yoga teachings and posture-learning that will take you to serenity, health and happiness in your everyday life.